The Zipper Test is designed to show you where you’re stuck in your life, either personally or professionally.
If you are stuck in any area of your life, your career or your relationships,The Zipper Test will help you breakthrough.
It will give you clarity to see what you may not otherwise be able to see. And with the clarity, it will empower you to take new action in your life.
Zipper Test:
Step 1
Do this: make a list of all the things you should do right now in your life.It could be the things you feel you should do for your health, your career, your finances, your relationships etc.
Please complete the statement “I should … “ as many times as you like. There is no correct amount of I should statements to complete this test. Write as many as you want.
Complete it in the ways that you would normally speak. Write as many sentences as you want to. I have provided you the space to do the exercise on the next page.
Do this exercise before moving on to the next steps of the Test.
Step 2
Look at your list of “I should” statements and ask yourself the question:
According to whom? According to whom, “should I?” Another way to ask the same question is to ask Why? Why should I do these things?
Write down your answers in the margins next to your statements of I should. If your answer is “I” say so. It’s according to me. Look again and ask: Where did I get the idea that I should do that? Where did I learn that? Why did I adopt that belief? Who am I trying to please? Who did I hear that from? And then write down your answer.
Now, if you’re really having trouble seeing where or why you should do something, look at what it is you wrote down that you should do. It might be a loaded term, loaded with hidden meaning.
For example, let’s say that one of your “I should” statements is I should be happy. And, you are having trouble seeing where you got that idea from or why you hold that belief.
So, then the question is what does the word “happy” mean to you? It might be loaded with certain symbols of happiness.
For example, you might have associated happiness to certain things like having a romantic partner, financial wealth, or career goals. You may, in fact, believe that these are the things that are part of your happiness. And, so you don’t feel“happy” until you have those things.
If this is the case, you will need to unload the meaning of the loaded expression:
I should be happy.
You will need to write down an “I should” statement for each of the things you associate to happiness. That way you can unload the meaning of what happiness is for you. For instance, if you associate romance to happiness, write down I should have a romantic partner. Or, if it’s financial, then write down I should be making more money. And keep doing this until you unload all the meaning from your loaded statement.
Then, once you have written out each of the I should statements that underlie your loaded I should statement, you can proceed with Step 2 of the Zipper Test analyzing each I should statement to see why you have adopted this belief.
NOTE: This additional part of Step 2, unloading loaded I should statements, is only if you are having trouble answering the question of why I should. You may not need to do this additional part of Step 2. It’s only if you can’t see why you believe the I should statement that you wrote down.
Step 3
Now, go back to your original list of I should statements and cross out the words I should and write in this phrase above it:
If I choose to, I could…
Keep your original answers as they were. Just start the sentence differently.
Instead of “I should,” change the beginning of the statements to read: “If I choose to, I could … “
Don’t change your original answers. Just change the start of each sentence.
Go back and do that now.
So now, you have the original list of I should statements, except the statements now start with the new phrase “If I choose to, I could…”
Step 4
If you completed Step 3 on your exercise page, your list now begins with the new starting phrase of “If I choose to, I could…”
With this changed list of things you could do if you choose to, ask yourself why you don’t like doing them, or why you don’t do them at all.
So, why don’t you do what you could do if you chose to do it? Ask yourself. Put down your new answers of why you don’t do these things. Put down these new answers next to your new statements.
What do you notice about your new answers compared to the previous answers?
What’s different about your reasons why you don’t do these things when the statement starts with “I should…” vs “If I choose to, I could…”
You might even feel an “ouch” of painful realizations. You might not like the answers you now see emerging.
You may notice 2 patterns to your new answers:
1. You may realize that what you thought you should do is really what someone else wants you to do. It’s not what you would really choose to do.
2. You may notice that what emerges are your own fears, fears that were hidden underneath your judgments of “I should.”
But, now you can see where you may have been deceiving yourself. You also now have a starting point for how you can break free.
It’s like when we see exactly how the Zipper is stuck. Then, we stop forcing it.And then, we can actually get it unstuck.
